Good Manners are essential!!!
Lifestyle — swinger — parties require polite manners, just like every other cocktail party you’ve attended. Manners in social areas are just like other parties, but additional manners are required in the play areas.
Before & During Play:
- Ask (verbally) before joining someone on a bed or joining people in a semi-private bedroom.
- Ask (verbally) before touching others, “Is it OK if I touch?” Getting a clear yes from BOTH partners in a couple means OK. Getting yes from only one partner in a couple means you don’t yet know.
- “No” and “No thank you” and “Not Now” and phrases like this, all mean NO! Answers like “Maybe later” might mean maybe later, or it might mean “No thank you, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” The only way to find out is ask further questions, such as “Should I ask you again later?”
- If someone is nice to you, don’t assume that person is interested in playing with you. Just like every other cocktail party you’ve ever attended, someone else’s polite manners or even flirting may be just polite manners or just flirting. See Rule 5 below.
- Not sure about the message you are receiving? Go to rule number one — ASK (verbally) before touching.
- COUPLES: Playing together — just the two of you — is an exciting and anxiety-relieving way to join in the playroom fun, especially when you’re new to the lifestyle. It’s also a great way to connect with each other, even if you’re hoping to play with others later.
- WOMEN: Let men know what you want and don’t want. They can’t read your mind. You (usually) don’t have to be rude, but sometimes they do forget to ask and need to reminded. Remember that every man has two heads, and the one on his shoulders is not always the one doing the thinking…lol.
- MEN: If you forgot to ask before touching her and she didn’t move your hand or say “No” in one way or another, it doesn’t mean it’s OK to keep going. She might not be sure how to say no, especially if she’s new. Be a classy guy and ask her and her partner verbally: “Do you mind if I touch?” “Would it be OK if my wife and I joined you?” “Could I join in?” etc. Even if you’re told “no” or “not now,” you’ll have made points for being a good guy, and the next time you meet, you’re more likely to get a “yes.”
- MEN AGAIN: Watching from a distance is OK, but choose a group play area, and find a place to stand, sit or lie where you’ll not be intrusive. Be sure to take off your shirt, shoes and socks — don’t look like you’re getting ready go home. (You’re more likely to be invited to join in, too!)
- EVERYONE: Remember, this is a consensual adult party. Don’t assume that everyone attending the party is there to play, or is playing any particular night, or wants to play with you that night. The lifestyle is diverse, and includes couples and singles who just like the open atmosphere, couples who only soft swap (no intercourse), women and men who prefer to watch their partner play rather than participate directly, women who only want girl-girl play, and of course people who participate in full swap. Our parties have a mix of all these preferences. ALSO, a “yes” at one party may be a “no” at another party for a wide variety of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with you!
- After you’ve played, honest compliments in quiet conversation are always nice, but be considerate of others in the room who may still be playing. And don’t forget to say “Thank You” before excusing yourself.
- DON’T BE A CONDOM CREEP! Please pick up your used condoms and wrappers, and put them in a waste basket.
- WASH UP OR SHOWER after a round of play. It will make you smell and taste better to others, and it gives you a chance to smile and relax. We provide bath towels, shampoo, body wash, hair ties, feminine hygiene products, and lots more for your comfort in each of the bathrooms.